Nervous Parenting

Let it be known that I'm notoriously spontaneous and the fact that my boyfriend can also have these tendencies does not help matters at all.

I've recently just come back from a vacation at the beach. I saw hermit crabs and suddenly had a romantic idea of owning two little ones with that bf of mine. I was on the fence about it. When I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to get a couple with me he said, "Yeah, sure. Sounds good." That did it. All doubts went out the window and my eyes were starry with romance. We got them as soon as possible.

Lord all mighty.

Don't doubt that I love Theodore and Pigby, but holy bajesus, they are not "easy and affordable to care for" as oh so many people claim. I feel as though the general public is under the impression, as I was, that all hermit crabs need are some food and water. My eyes weren't twinkling for long! As soon as I google searched those bad boys, I knew I was in for it.

Here's an image of a proper tank:

This doesn't even list a hygrometer I had to get also to measure humidity! We've already spend over $200 on these suckers.

So here's the truth. They need a humidity of at least 70 or they can't breathe properly and they can slowly DIE. They need the temperature to be 80 or they'll DIE. They need salt water to bathe in or they'll DIE(I don't know if they'll actually die because of that, but I wanted to keep the pattern going.).

For the past week, I have been a nervous wreck. I eat, sleep, and breathe worry! (Literally. I just had it for breakfast earlier.) I've been struggling to keep the humidity levels over 70. Just this morning it was 60 then it dropped to 30! I've been laying in bed fretting because my poor babies can't even BREATHE! I haven't even had time let them crawl on my shirt or throw a ball around with them or embarrass them in front of their friends! I've been researching and researching, doing everything the websites advise to no avail! I've had dreams! Dreams no normal 20-year-old should have! Not only about how they can't breathe, but also that I don't have any shells. Websites say you should have at least 3 extra shells for hermit crab so they can change to their pleasing. If a crab wants to change, but can't find any suitable shells (let alone any shells at all!) they can get stressed out.

But I won't end this ranting post on a sad note. In the past few minutes, while writing this post actually, I figured out how to keep the humidity levels up. I simply covered the top with a piece of scrap cardboard. I feel intellectually (and physically) beaten by a piece cardboard.

I can't make fun of Tina and her worried husband anymore. I've now been begrudgingly shoved into their category (several years too early I might add) of being a nervous parent.

PS. Look at the time. It's 8:43 am. I've been know to sleep til noon. Sigh...

Don't Kiss Your Baby

Yes, that's right, mommies and daddies.  Don't kiss your babies.  Because if you do, things are happening that you are totally unaware of.  You are transferring gross disgusting bacteria to your babies.  This article says that kisses on the lips and sharing food can give your baby cavities.  So it's just not candies that are doing it.  Parents across the world are unwittingly passing on Streptococcus mutans, a bacteria that can pass from person to person through the transfer of saliva.  When a baby's teeth first come in, the enamel is very soft and thus susceptible to decay.  The worse news is that the bacteria can thrive for years and affect permanent teeth. 


So this pretty much sucks for parents...especially those who love their babies a little too much.  Ahem, Tina.  Parents can't even kiss your friggin' baby or share food with them.  It definitely makes me think twice about it too.  My poor future babies...no kisses for you.  Sorry.  

What About Flip Flops?!?

A lot of people may not know this about me, but I turned into quite a germaphobe over the years. The commercial about toilet cleaners where they zoom in on the germs skeeves me out. Laura makes fun of me about it. I wash my hands constantly and sometimes have to ask my husband to do the same. "Did you wash your hands when you came home?" "Did you wash your hands after you took the trash out?" "Did you wash your hands at all today?" Sometimes to mess with me, he says no and then proceeds to wipe his germy hands all over my arms and face, whilst I am screaming. Then he'd say he did wash them. Not cool...

So I love wearing flip flops. I liked them before they were everywhere. It is one of my favorite things about summer. I think they are comfortable, goes perfectly with my casual style, and is just easy. Then I read the most horrible article today, titled "Can Your Flip Flops Kill You?" The tagline is "Summer footwear harbor more than 18,000 bacteria, including deadly germ." BUHHHH!! If I had really thought about it, I would have guessed. Flip flops are worn to places they probably should not be and, hence the name, flips up stuff I'd rather not think about. Ahhh, my flip flops are going to kill me! I gotta go right now and disinfect my flip flops immediately. Ack! Okay, I am not really going to...my laziness won out. But I will be SERIOUSLY thinking about it!

Fear of the Ginger

Why do people fear the ginger, meaning those with red hair? I've heard references to ginger kids or people in a derogatory manner. And I decided to get to the bottom of it. So I did a little "research," which mainly involved reading wikipedia. Also, as a side, I came across this weird site called The Ginger People that sold ginger, and its mascot is a person made of ginger root with a platter of ginger pieces. It would be cute if it wasn't so freaky. But I digress ("per usual," as Tina would say).

The first time I heard of this phenomenon was on South Park. You can watch the full episode called Ginger Kids here. For a class presentation, Cartman delivers a speech spewing hate and prejudice against ginger kids who he describes as pale-faced with red hair and freckles. He says they have no soul and could not survive in the sunlight--like vampires. This speech causes everyone in school to hate the ginger kids. To teach Cartman a lesson, his friends turn him into a ginger kid over night, using skin bleach, hair dye and fake freckle tattoos. Cartman wakes up to find that he has turned into a ginger. Cartman goes to school and is a victim of the prejudice he started. In response to this, Cartman establishes the Ginger Separatist Movement to help the ginger kids. Then he quickly turns Hitler-like calling the ginger the "chosen race." Cartman is cute as a ginger kid...until he turns evil, of course.

So where did this idea come from? Throughout history, red hair was the mark of a savage or signified evil. Red hair and green eyes were thought to be the sign of a witch, werewolf or vampire during the Middle Ages. Recently, the dislike of the ginger is more discrimination than superstition. There is speculation that the dislike of red hair may derive from the historical English sentiment that people of Irish or Celtic background, with a greater prevalence of red hair, were inferior. Fast forward to today, and you have the South Park episode.

So it appears that the present day misunderstanding of the ginger may have roots in history! Or we can just blame South Park. Haha! In any event, leave the poor ginger alone...and don't look directly at them. Just kidding!

15 Second Rule For Handwashing

I noticed for the past two months that people were taking turns getting sick at work. Germs were being passed around, and I didn't want any part of it. The number one way to prevent getting sick is washing your hands a lot. Germs are everywhere from door knobs to light switches. But you have to wash your hands right. To effectively wash all bacteria and germs from your hands, you have to wash your hands for at least 15 seconds. I wasn't sure if everyone knew this rule. Anything under 15 seconds is not enough. So you people who do the quick rinse with soap, you better count to 15 before you finish.

I Think I've Just Been Trolled

I was on failblog.org last night (you should check it out), and I came across this one particular fail called Google Fail. Apparently when you type "I am extremely . . ." One of the suggestions given by Google is "I am extremely terrified of chinese people." This gave me pause of course, and the curious person in me made me investigate further. When I did the search on Google, I got a bunch of results talking about this phenomenon on Google. Then I came across a blog by a person who did exactly what I did. He found that the Google results refer to an article called "I am extremely terrified of Chinese people. But I'm not racist."

So I read the article, and I had a couple reactions. First, I thought the author is completely insane. And second, I thought it was funny because of how ridiculous and ignorant it was. The article basically states how China wants to take over the world and eat you and your babies. Yeah, crazy, right? So I started reading people's comments, and most expressed their outrage. People cursed a lot and said some really mean things about the author. I will refrain from opining on whether they were warranted although I was mentally agreeing with them. ;)

Then I came across several comments that said "Trolled" or "You've been trolled" or "I smell a troll." At first, I ignored them because I didn't know what the heck it meant. But finally after seeing the word "troll" ten times, I figured it was a slang for something. So I decided to look up "trolled" on urbandictionary.com. I found that "trolled" means "anyone who fails to recognize a troll and responds to it with anger or annoyance is said to have been 'trolled.'" Huh?!? So I looked up troll. What I found out hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I've just been trolled!! Troll means "one who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument." Haha! That's hilarious! So you see, I was doubly trolled because I went through all that trouble to find that stupid troll! Well, I think it's funny. =p And I learned something new! My lil sis would be so proud of me. She taught me what "fail" meant although I refuse to use the word because it's just not proper English. Those who know the meaning of troll must think I'm an idiot. I am not hip, okay? I admit it.

What Is a Bromance?

Bromance--it's such a peculiar concept, one that I may never fully understanding, being a woman and all. Only recently has the word bromance become part of the urban vernacular--it's such a funny word, isn't it? A bromance describes the love between two straight men. However, the idea of a romance between two bros is not new at all. I mean how many grown men do you know have BFFs? Those who don't have a bromance wish they had. Come on. You shouldn't be ashamed of your bromance. You should shout it from the rooftops like Seth and Evan in Superbad. They loved each other and wanted the whole world to know. That scene was hilarious in an uncomfortable sort of way.

When I think of bromances, I think of J.D. and Turk from Scrubs. They are the definition of bromance. They are even more connected to each other than to their significant others. They have cute nicknames for each other like Brown Bear and Vanilla Bear. They have a million inside jokes. They miss each other after long periods of separation. Like when Turk and Carla came back from their honeymoon, J.D. and Turk were practically giddy with joy at their reunion. I know my husband secretly wishes he has what J.D. and Turk have. There, there, hubby.

Another level to a bromance is that the bros live by the Bro Code. It's from How I Met Your Mother, if you didn't know. Barney Stinson, the awesomest TV character of all time, came up with it. Here are some good ones, quoted directly from the show:
Article 1. Bros before hoes.
Article 29. A Bro will in a timely manner alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.
Article 59. One Bro makes a solo attack. A second Bro provides a crutch. A third Bro rounds out the pack. But a fourth Bro is one too much.
Article 62. In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet roshambo (that just means rock-paper-scissors) shall determine the outcome.
Article 66. If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a "that sucks, man" and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary - deserved or not - regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite backslide window has closed.
Article 67. Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.