I'm a Poet, and I Know It.

When I was in high school, I liked creative writing, particular writing poems. Ya know the kind where I poured out my heart and soul. And it was gut wrenching. And everything was dramatic. And I just wanted to die. Yeah, the awesome kind! Well, I don't write poems like I used to. Yes, it is sad. But I still have them to enjoy! Because I wrote them down and saved them, baby. I pulled out my old poetry journal recently. Man, are they painful to read. Meaning they are baaadddd...so much so that they are hilarious!

Here are a few gems just for you.

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Sorrow

Love to me saddens my heart and mind.
It expresses to me of what is not kind.
Love around me is love that is for another.
They don't love me; they love some other.
People who I once loved has turned away.
They left me there with nothing to say.
My soul aches and yearns for a caring hard.
I just want someone who will understand.
I need love like any human being.
I wish I can go blind and stop seeing.
The cruel world has done me great sorrow.
I lay in bed hoping there will be no tomorrow.
I look into tomorrow like a dead end.
It will trap me into becoming his friend.
Then it will turn away, and my heart will ache.
It will leave and go on and care for no one's sake.
I suffered greatly, and it will never be repaid.
I had love and happiness, and I knew it would fade.
What can I do to change they way I think and feel.
If there's such a thing as true love; is it real?
The sorrow is buried deep within my soul.
It won't break free. It won't let go.
Love is like a tree because it will eventually die.
I wish I could only say hello and not say good-bye.

Comment: Wow! I am depressing. I read this to Laura today, and she felt bad for me. Haha! Poor poor teenage Tara...no one loved her apparently.

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Who Are You?

Who are you to me?
You were once an insignificant nobody in my life,
a passerby, a stranger...
You watched as I wondered alone,
searching and seeking for something,
something to complete my life.
You were not easy to find.
I looked everywhere, and
I failed many times,
retrieving to my domain to weep away.
I did not even know when
I found you...
thinking you were just another
little something in my life.
My eyes were blocked by the
blazing sun of despair.
I realized it was you when
I gave up.
How ironic!
You were right here in front of me...
giving me the gift of love.
Who are you to me now?
Everything, the world, and life itself.
Your smile brightens my day.
Your touch leaves me weak with joy.
I never knew love
until I knew you.
I will cherish your gift forever,
holding it close to my heart
and never ever letting go.
Now I finally know who you are.

Comment: This poem was written on June 23, 1997. And it was about Huz! Haha! I wonder if this will embarrass him. Oh, well. My favorite part of this poem is "the blazing sun of despair." I try to say that any chance I get now...no matter the conversation.

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1995

A new year, a new feeling, a new hope. Everything is the same yet there is something that is different. Something that has changed. Breathe in the new air, the fresh clean new air. Look around you. Not only look but experience, feel, smell, taste, hear it. 1995! Sigh! Wow, so many memories yet there is a big future ahead. A future full of hopes, dreams, disappointments, love, hate, and a new...everything. What is there? What is out there for me, you, everyone? Can I live it now? Can I see into it and smile or laugh or frown? 1995 has brought me many new thoughts of the past, present, and future. 1995 will always be cherished like the many other years that changed me and made me what I am today.

Comment: OMG! I wrote that 15 friggin' years ago. That is crazy. I've come a long way...or at least I'd like to think so. I thought this poem was apt since today is New Year's Eve. I'll look into 2010 and smile...or maybe laugh...or maybe frown. I haven't decided yet. Haha.

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEEPS!

Avatar Is the Shiznit

Hope everyone had a pleasant holiday. I have been busy spending time with family, cooking, and eating a lot...like non-stop. But I guess that is what the holidays are all about. ;) However, in between bites of food, I went out to watch Avatar with Huz, cuz, and lil bro. It was the highlight of my week. Haha. Jk. (Not really.)

I had been really excited to watch Avatar and was not disappointed. I watched it in 3D, which probably wasn't necessary. I absolutely loved the movie though. The best part was the world created by writer/director James Cameron called Pandora and the blue people that cohabited it called the Na'vi. Everything about the world was...magical from the bizarre plants to the glowing trees to the larger than life animals. The CGI and effects were awesome and just made it feel and look so real.

In the movie, a human, Jake Sully, attempts to infiltrate one tribe on Pandora by using an avatar created with human and Na'vi DNA. He basically gets into a machine, and his mind is somehow connected to his avatar. On his first trip into the forest of Pandora, he gets separated from his crew. The Na'vi knows of these avatars and treats them as hostiles. However, Neytiri comes upon him and believes that he is somehow special. As such, her people allows him to stay with their tribe and learn the ways of the Na'vi. Soon Jake is conflicted about his mission because he has fallen in love with the world and with his teacher, Neytiri.

It is such a beautiful love story. However, freakin' teenagers in the theater ruined parts of the movie for me. They were snickering and making a commotion during the more sentimental parts. Ugh. They were so annoying. I tried to ignore it as best I could.

Anyway, despite all the good stuff in the movie, it did have its tired cliches. The humans were motivated by greed...of course. Pandora is rich with a mineral called unobtainium that sells for millions of dollars an ounce.Then there's the annoying military guy who just wants to destroy Pandora for no apparent reason than to just be the bad guy of the piece. His character was exaggerated almost to the point of the ridiculous.

But honestly, I don't care. The story was simple and probably didn't have much substance. I loved it anyway.

The movie reminded me of FernGully. Do you remember that cartoon movie from way back when? Huz had no idea what I was talking about.

The 3 Sisters Christmas Song

Here is a Christmas song just for you from us. You can sing along here. Merry Christmas, everyone!!

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Have a holly jolly Christmas!
We've been blogging through the year.
We don't know all our readers though,
But have a pint of beer.
Have a holly jolly Christmas!
We'll walk by you on the street.
On this blog we're friends you know
and who cares if we never meet.

Oh ho, friend or foe.
Hanging around the tree.
Somebody cares for you.
It's the sisters three.
Have a holly jolly Christmas!
Thanks for following, my dear.
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas this year!

Cranky Pants

I am usually a very cheery person. Really! But I've noticed recently that I've been a bit cranky. I apologize to the victims of my crankiness. Sorry I snapped at you. I don't know what it is. Maybe that I've been super busy at work or that it's the holidays (ba humbug). Or that people are just pissing me off!

Okay, it's really me. After turning 31, I've become a cranky old lady. Ya know, like the ones who shake their fists at the younguns, yelling unnecessarily loudly and frequently. It's true. I've been sitting out on my porch (screw the snow) and screaming "You crazy kids. Get off my lawn!" to everyone who passes. I get a lot of confused looks, and then I give them my own look that says "I will eff you up!"

I was never a patient person. Along with my youth, I am losing the little patience I have left. Things that used to mildly irritate me, now extremely irritate me.

Like if you want me to do something, you don't need to tell me a hundred times. I know! I heard you the first 99 times.

I'm happy to help you. But I am NOT going to do everything for you. You gotta help yourself. "Help me help you! Help me help you!"

I realize you like to hear the sound of your own voice. But frankly, I don't. So shut the eff up!

See...I told you I was cranky. In the spirit of Christmas and as a resolution for the new year, I promise I will try to improve my disposition. I will try to remember that patience is a virtue. I will hold my tongue even though I really really want to say something. I will not be violent despite a growing need to hurt someone. Basically, I will shut myself in my house and never leave. You'll thank me later.

P.S. My name Tara means "crabby rock." That explains a lot.

Kettle Corn

We had our departmental holiday dinner last week where we did the white elephant exchange. I was stressed about it because I wanted to make up for my lousy present from last year--a shower radio. Apparently, it wasn't as cool as I thought it was. Also, everyone was doing a lot of trash-talking this year, saying theirs were going to be the best. My one co-worker had ordered her present several weeks in advance and kept talking up her gift. After much debate, I ended up getting the gumball machine, and it was a hit! Yay! And my trash talking co-worker got totally owned because two other people actually had the same gift--a snuggie! Haha. I admit that it's not a bad gag gift, but it was unfortunately very unoriginal. Too bad for her. She'll just have to redeem herself next year and make sure to zip it! ;)

Well, I ended up with the West Bend Crazy Stir popcorn popper. I was at first hesitant to steal it because it's kinda bulky. And I really don't have any room in my kitchen. And I really don't need a popcorn popper or another kitchen appliance for that matter. But I am so glad I got it because I can make kettle corn!

Okay, I have to admit that I am a big fraud. I've never had real kettle corn from a fair or carnival. I only tried it recently pre-made. But the kettle corn I make with my popper is still pretty good.

I just throw in oil, sugar, and kernels and turn it on. In a few minutes, popcorn is popping before my very eyes.

Soon the dome is filled with popcorn. I add a few dashes of salt and get homemade kettle corn in just minutes.

I've already made it four times. Isn't it neat? I really do love stuff like this. It's different, fun, and entertaining. Well, it is for me, at least.