White Elephant

Every year, my department hosts a holiday dinner where everyone joins in a pollyanna exchange. However, we do the white elephant version where participants can steal gifts from others. I had never done a white elephant exchange before I started working at my firm. So my first year, I bought a french press--nothing too impressive. Actually, only one of my co-workers had participated in white elephant exchanges before. Turns out that gag gifts are a regular part of it. Everyone brought regular gifts like me. But that one guy bought a gag gift. And our boss ended up with it, a men's jewelry box. Haha. It was hilarious because no one would steal it from him and he kept complaining all night, in a half joking half serious way.

Now a lot of people join in on the gag part of the pollyanna. But I don't. It's too much pressure. What if my gift just isn't funny? What if the wrong person gets my gift? Too many things can go wrong. So year after year I've stuck with the regular gifts, for example, a sake set. Then last year I got a gift that I thought was totally normal. I didn't know it'll turn out to be a joke later. =p I bought a shower radio. Sounds normal, right? People like shower radios, right? Okay, so I didn't think it through.

Anyway, while picking their gifts, people were discussing and guessing who bought the best gag gift and the best normal gift. Suddenly, my boss turned to me and said that he thought my gift would be the best gift. What? Why me? I thought of my dinky shower radio sitting there in the pile. Oh, great.

Then of course, he ended up picking my gift, not realizing it was mine. Several people at the table were Jewish, including my boss. And I friggin' wrapped my gift in Santa Claus wrapping. He of course didn't pass the chance to make fun of that. How politically incorrect of me. Whoops.

Then he opened it...probably fully believing that my gift was going to be awesome. He looked at it and was like "WTF, a shower radio. Really?" That happened last year, and I still haven't heard the end of it. Although he has admitted that he uses it every morning. I tried to get him to admit that my gift changed his life, but he won't. Tehe.

Now it's that time of year again. And the pressure is on! I don't know what to get this year. Help! I want to redeem myself. I thought of getting a gag gift. I was at Urban Outfitters yesterday and saw a board game called Kosherland. Could be funny...or could be very offensive. I was thinking of getting a bubble gum machine too. I think that'll be cute. I could see that in people's offices or at their desk. I don't know. But I gotta get something good.