Monday, November 23, 2009

Die, Chivalry, Die!

Something happened not too long ago, and it's been bugging me. I've debated it with Huz. And I've concluded that either way, I'm a bitch.

At a recent get-together at my friend's house, I was trying to open a wine bottle with one of those fancy openers. I'm no expert, but I know how to open a bottle of wine. I've done it many times. I just don't use the fancy ones often. We only have the cheap kind at home.

Anyway, I was working at uncorking the wine bottle when this guy (friend of a friend) practically runs up to me and asks me if he can open it for me. I was totally offended. My reaction then and still is that he thought I was incompetent. And that he felt he had to rescue a dumb girl. I was kinda pissed and still am.

I told Huz my feeling about this when we got home. He didn't agree with my response. He said the guy was just trying to be nice. But I don't think so! Maybe it was the way the guy asked me. The look on his face that said "You're an idiot." Or how he swooped in to save the day. Puhlease. I didn't need his help. I would have appreciated it more if he just gave me a helpful tip, like I should take the foil off first or hold onto the wine opener a certain way. I didn't appreciate that this stranger just assumed that I needed him to take over.

I didn't. I had it!

Huz is so sure that he was trying to be chivalrous. I don't agree. To make his point, Huz asked me if I'll be angry if a guy tried to hold the door for me. I said of course not. The difference is that this hypothetical guy isn't holding the door for me because he thinks it's too heavy and I can't do it myself. He's just trying to be nice. I hold the door for people all the time.

So it's not the same! I'm not trying to kill chivalry. I just don't like a man assuming a woman can't do something. If I were a man, would that guy jump in and try to do it? Or would he leave me alone and let me handle it? I am guessing the latter.

So in conclusion, I'm a feminist bitch. But still I'm right.


Cass said...

I am on your side! It really bugs me when a task I'm doing gets co-opted by some guy who pretends he's just "helping" but really is either too impatient to watch me do it, or thinks I can't.

On the holding doors issue, I don't mind it....except when it is a completely absurd "chivalrous" circumstance. One time I was coming down a stairway to exit a building and I wasn't even halfway down the stairs, when a guy coming in the door stopped and waited, holding the door for me. He then watched me walk the rest of the way down the stairs and across the short lobby and out another door (I did it on purpose.) Then he came outside and yelled at me, "What, you can't go out a door just because I'm holding it?" I didn't respond because I couldn't think of a good comeback, but I was mad! I didn't ask him to hold the door for me, and it made me incredibly uncomfortable trying to go down stairs and get to the door all the while he was watching me. Just act like a normal person--I don't need you to hold the door when I'm not even close to going out of it!

Tara said...

Haha! I just told Huz that Cassie is on my side! It's not just me. =p

Funny story. Yeah, it's just uncomfortable when people start holding the door too early. I probably would have walked through the door and then bitched about it later.

Anonymous said...

i would help you open a bottle of wine not cause i doubt your ability to open it adequately...just that I think i can do it slightly better.

-huz's cuz

Tara said...

Cuz, I'm going to hurt you!!

Kate said...

I agree. If I am perfectly capable of doing something I don't need someone taking over. If I need help I will ask!

Kate x