Black Friday Adventures and Misadventures

The 3 Sisters joined the ranks a few Black Fridays ago. But we had a plan to avoid the crowds, which we followed every year. That plan involved a small neighborhood mall and the morning sale at H&M. I basically got my entire winter wardrobe there for 25% off. Our Black Fridays were usually laid back, non-hectic, and quiet. It was awesome.

Then this year, H&M changed their sale. Shoppers could still get 25% before 10am but only on ONE friggin' item! Why in the world would anyone wake up that early to save like $5? Are they crazy? There was no way we were going to do that.

On Wednesday, I immediately text Tina and Laura that "Black Friday is officially canceled!" I included a sad face, which meant I was serious. Our tradition was going to be laid to rest. H&M had ruined Black Friday...which is almost like ruining Christmas!

After sending that text off and getting a response of outrage from Laura, I somehow came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea. I found out that the new outlet malls in our area started their sales at midnight. A couple sales were even 25-50% off the entire store. You can't beat that, right? I excitedly told Tina and Laura that Black Friday was back on.

Laura's response was "Do I have to wrestle some bitches?" Haha. I couldn't imagine the place being that crowded at midnight. I was so sure that it was a great idea. I even convinced other members of my family to join us.

Off we went at 11pm on Thanksgiving. I was thinking we'd get there in a half hour, get some Starbucks, wait around until stores opened at midnight and be done at 3am and in bed by 4am...no biggie. It was Black Friday tied in a very neat and pretty bow.

Then a mile from the mall, we hit traffic. Bahh!! That was when I realized that this brilliant idea of mine wasn't very original. Everybody in the friggin' state knew about it and was heading there at the same time.

This was very unlike me. The trip was unplanned, and I was unprepared. Big mistake.

We sat in traffic for a good 45 minutes, moving a foot every few minutes. The place was so crowded that we couldn't even park at the mall. We had to park at some random parking lot a half mile away. After we parked, we had to walk down this dark, unlit road.

While trekking on this scary road where we could barely see in front of us, I exclaimed, "This is like an adventure, guys!" No response. "Right, right?" No response. I guess they agreed with me.

Walking in the freezing cold woke us up, and we were ready to shop. We finally got to the mall around 1am. The place was packed. Hello, masses!

Maybe we did have to wrestle some bitches.

The stores were so crowded. People were elbow to elbow. Clothes were in heaping piles. We had to weave in and out to get anywhere. Afraid we'd lose someone, we adopted the buddy system. Basically, you just heard us screaming, "Where's my partner? Where's my partner?"

Yeah, it wasn't perfect.

If I saw something I liked, I just grabbed it and hoped for the best. There just wasn't any time to try anything on. The lines were super long. For some stores like Coach and Kenneth Cole, we had to wait in line outside only to find more lines in the inside. WTF!

We were practically running from store to store. If everyone in our group were done at a store, we'd scream "Abort, abort!" and run out. Okay, that only happened once.

We cursed H&M randomly throughout the night/morning. Because of H&M, we had to deal with the crowds, long lines, and a giant mall with dozens of stores. Damn H&M! You did this to us!!

We were finally done around 5:30a. Body parts ached. Feet hurt. But we still had to walk a half mile back to our car! The walk back was definitely not as adventurous.

The worst thing is that Laura didn't buy anything at all! She was crying by the end of it. She didn't even get to wrestle some bitches. Poor Laura.

I, on the other hand, bought a handful of things. But it still probably wasn't worth it. After driving everyone home, I finally went to bed at 7:40a. Woke up at 2pm with a pounding headache. Awesome.