My Tat

Many of you may not know this. But I'm a badass.

Okay, stop laughing. Geez. So I'm not really a badass...which probably explains why people are shocked when I tell them I have a tattoo. First, I'm offended. I'm not as prim and proper as you might think, asshole! Then, I'm confused. I don't get that. Why do you have to be a type of person to have a tattoo? Tattoos are another way for people to express themselves. It's not just for rockers, bikers, and gang bangers.

So now you might be wondering what made me get a tattoo. I was 25 and in law school. I felt like I was in a funk. All I did was go to class and study (and watched more TV than you can ever imagine). My life was not very exciting. I always wanted a tattoo but didn't have the guts to do it. Finally, one day, I decided it was time. I told Huz, and he was totally against it. But I didn't care. I dragged a friend (a fellow tattooed dude) to go with me.

I wasn't sure what to get. I was thinking maybe a cute tiny red heart. Then at the tattoo parlor, I had a "Eureka!" moment. I saw my last name in Chinese. At the time, Chinese characters were everywhere. But this was different. It meant something to me. Tina and I talked about getting a tattoo like that for years. Then she had babies and had better things to think about.

After I picked my tattoo design and placement (left-side, lower back), it was time to go under the needle. I was a big wuss about it. I'm not gonna lie. Before the tattoo artist started, I told him to give me a warning beforehand. He was behind me, so I had no idea what he was doing. So I asked him about five times "Are you starting yet? Tell me, okay?"

Then the needle buzzed. And I felt like my back was on fire. Like someone was using a blow torch on my back, and I let him f%&king do it. But it was over before I knew it. When he told me it was done, I couldn't believe how quick it was. I turned to him and exclaimed, "I like you." His response was "I wasn't sure you were going to make it." Haha! Touche.

Now I have a tattoo that I love. However, the meaning of it changed for me over time. If that makes any sense. It's true that, when I first got it, it symbolized that I was still young, care-free, and a rebel. But now, it represents who I am. That I won't change even if my last name does. Read my earlier post on my feelings about my last name.

Now I've grown up and am working. But I have this tiny secret hidden under my fancy suit, panty hose, and neatly combed hair.

My tat does make me feel a little badass.