But It's Too Early to Battle!

After snoozing the alarm for the hundredth time, I finally forced myself up this morning. I was brushing my teeth with my eyes half open. That was when I saw it...a fly. At first, it seemed I had imagined it as it disappeared as quickly as it came. Then suddenly, the fly came at my head, and I ducked to get out of its way. With its first attack, the fly had waged a war...one I intended to win. I stood in my bedroom against my dresser...as still as possible. I was waiting...waiting for it to fall into my trap. I had my rolled up magazine at the ready. However, the witty little thing flew from behind me and disappeared. It was toying with me. I knew it. I stood with my back against the door, so it could not sneak attack me again. My eyes zoomed around the room looking for it. "Where are you fly?" I said. The anticipation was unnerving. Sweat dripped down my forehead. There it was again. Then it was gone. The ever elusive fly. I decided to change strategy. I slowly walked to the hallway with caution. I plastered myself against the wall in wait. Suddenly, it was there. It came at my head again. The next second, it flew into the hallway bathroom. I quickly closed the door and locked myself in with the fly. Now it was just me and the fly mano a mano. Finally it landed on the mirror. I swatted at it and missed. The fly was now frantically flying in circles to get away. I knew it was not going to land, so I swatted at it in the air...missing several times. I was working off of pure adrenaline at this point. After several more attempts, I hit it...and it fell to the ground by the door. It was injured and writhing in pain. I got my magazine and smashed down on the spot the fly had been, thinking it was over and done. When I picked up the magazine, it wasn't there! I screamed "Why won't you die fly!?" I figured that the fly had escaped under the crack of the door. I opened the door, and the fly was on the other side attempting to escape. I got a tissue and squashed that motherf&*%er! I won the battle!! Then I took a shower, got dressed and headed to work. The End.

Yeah, true story.