Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My Freshman Year Nightmare

Before my Freshman year of college, I had an awesome summer with my friends, most of whom I've been friends with since at least 3rd grade, and with my family. I was getting so close to Carmen and Rachel. I saw them almost every other day. I always have so much fun with my sisters, and I was doing fun, care-free things, just living the life of a young, irresponsible young woman. And it was the life for me. But summer doesn't last forever ya know. It ends. But for me it didn't just end, it crashed and burned and sent me spiraling into reality.

I was to attend a college in another state. Okay, it's only an hour away, but New Jersey is a completely different monster than Philadelphia. Philadelphia is diverse and loud and dirty. Ewing, New Jersey is quite the opposite. No one, absolutely no soul from my high school class was going to this college, just me. I was scared to say the least.

The first month was the hardest. It was hard to make friends. Everyone was so different than me. I was some girl from Philly who wore emo glasses but spoke ghetto slang fluently. I was an odd mix of all these cultural cliches that made me fit right in in my high school in Philly, but I couldn't quite figure out where I fit in in this school full of white, Republican small-towners. Saying I was homesick would be a gross understatement. I was desperate to go home and breathe in that deliciously polluted Philadelphia air. I felt more than lonely, I felt empty.

I survived my first semester, living off of daily phone calls to my sister and best friend. I lived it day by day. I hung out with all sorts of different people. Although in the inside of me brewed turmoil, at least I'm proud to say I never stopped trying. There were some cool Latinas, some quiet Asians, and some dorky white kids. I tried to wiggle my way into these groups that seemed to form from day one. I was petrified I would never make any friends.

Eventually though, I struck luck with one of the crowds. Believe it or not, it turned out to be the dorky white kids. Haha. I got closer to them during my second semester, and we all hit it off very well. Conveniently, we all lived on the same floor.

Now I'm in the beginning of my second semester of college. Now that I've found some close friends, life's not so hard. We practically do everything together, eat every meal, go to the occasional party, and sometimes, we just lay around doing absolutely nothing.

Admittedly, the friends I've made are very different than me, and I stick out like a sore thumb. But we still all get along and have fun together, and that's what counts. I'm glad I got to meet people with such different lives and experiences than my own.


Tara said...

You're a big freak at your school, aren't you?!? When you were going through your freshman year angst, I completely understood because it reminded me of my freshman year. I definitely felt for you. But now I've seen you come out the other side. You're still a freak, but a not so melancholy one.

P.S. I like the word "angst." It's coo.
P.P.S. I like the word "melancholy." It makes me feel the opposite of melancholy.

Vanessa said...

Aww Laura.. I'm glad you found your niche there(I like the word "niche", it makes me feel French). Enjoy college while you can... your whole life you will be saying "ahhh, remember back in college when_____"