My Next Husband

Last night, Huz and I went to dinner and planned to watch the movie, Nine. While waiting to be seated, I was talking to Huz about this situation at work that I was concerned about. I was explaining it to him and then asked him what he thought. He paused and then said "yeah." I looked at him waiting for him to continue, but when he didn't, I responded, "yeah what?" He didn't say anything and just looked at me awkwardly. Flabbergasted, I said "you weren't even listening, were you?" He gave me this weak smile. Then all hell broke lose. We started fighting right then and there. We were yelling at the top of our lungs. And people were staring at us. Finally, I told him I wanted a divorce. He agreed. And I told him that he can forget about watching Nine too. So much for lucky 13.

So now that we are getting divorced, I was thinking about my next husband. Because Simon Pegg is married and is probably traveling with security, I set my sights on Michael Voltaggio who is a contestant on this season's Top Chef. He is my new crush. Okay, I confess! You twisted my arm. I just picked a fight with Huz, so I can divorce him and marry Michael Voltaggio. Isn't he so cute? And he is such a gentlemen. But a gentlemen with tattoos, which is even better.

Okay, I confess again! You are a real arm twister you. I totally made up the first part. I just wanted to tell someone that I love Michael Voltaggio. But thought it would be inappropriate because I am a happily married woman. Hey, I respect Huz. Really! I waited until the day after our 13th anniversary to make my second marriage announcement. My first marriage is all about respect. Anyway, as I was saying, Michael Voltaggio, will you marry me?