Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Next Husband

Last night, Huz and I went to dinner and planned to watch the movie, Nine. While waiting to be seated, I was talking to Huz about this situation at work that I was concerned about. I was explaining it to him and then asked him what he thought. He paused and then said "yeah." I looked at him waiting for him to continue, but when he didn't, I responded, "yeah what?" He didn't say anything and just looked at me awkwardly. Flabbergasted, I said "you weren't even listening, were you?" He gave me this weak smile. Then all hell broke lose. We started fighting right then and there. We were yelling at the top of our lungs. And people were staring at us. Finally, I told him I wanted a divorce. He agreed. And I told him that he can forget about watching Nine too. So much for lucky 13.

So now that we are getting divorced, I was thinking about my next husband. Because Simon Pegg is married and is probably traveling with security, I set my sights on Michael Voltaggio who is a contestant on this season's Top Chef. He is my new crush. Okay, I confess! You twisted my arm. I just picked a fight with Huz, so I can divorce him and marry Michael Voltaggio. Isn't he so cute? And he is such a gentlemen. But a gentlemen with tattoos, which is even better.

Okay, I confess again! You are a real arm twister you. I totally made up the first part. I just wanted to tell someone that I love Michael Voltaggio. But thought it would be inappropriate because I am a happily married woman. Hey, I respect Huz. Really! I waited until the day after our 13th anniversary to make my second marriage announcement. My first marriage is all about respect. Anyway, as I was saying, Michael Voltaggio, will you marry me?

7 comments:

Tina said...

You so crazy. I knew you made up the fight. First of all Will wouldn't yell at you. Second, you would never ask for a divorce. Third, Wil would never agree. You've been lawyered.

Tara said...

LOL. The lawyer has been lawyered!

I figured people who knew us won't believe it. =p

Laura said...

I beat Tina. I knew you were lying once I read "Then all hell broke lose." Hell never really breaks loose around Wil and Tara. I win.

Cass said...

Michael is the best! I'll fight you for him (as our imaginary second husbands.)

Tara said...

Cassie, I have been looking for someone who agrees with me! He is so cute! Plus he is a good cook. I hope he wins!

How do you win, Laura? Tina commented first.

Vanessa said...

Lol... I thought you were joking when you said you would be referring to Wil as "Huz" from now on. Well, how dare Huz zone out on you like that? You could have been saying something really important!

Tara said...

Huz is my name for Wil when saying "husband" just seems too long. Why?

Huz didn't zone out! I made that part up. Huz is an obedient husband that listens to my every word.